Br Milton Lawrence
2018-11-06
Milton was an exceptional Brother. I have not met him for the last 32 years because he had been sent to Africa (Gambia) to teach. But as a young Brother he was a compassionate soul who was always willing to walk the extra mile whenever there was need. He spent his whole day doing things for others. A man for others! Without doubt the best Brother to come out of Abu.
He was a great teacher. After returning from Africa, he worked in Columba's for a year or two (not sure) and those boys remember him fondly even now (only a very extraordinary Brother can be popular with the Columban kids!)
He was very good at basketball. When I say very good, I mean he could have been in an international team! It was difficult to stop him from taking a lay-up. In fact, he left Delhi because he hurt his tendon in the ankle while playing basketball and had to recuperate in Goa (not his first time in that old age home, Shantiniwas, where he died).
I am very bad for remembering the exact time-line; but I think the last place that he taught was in St. Columba's.
At least the last three years (may be more) he was afflicted with cancer of the gut. It changed a smiling, energetic, ever ready for action Milton into a moody, depressed, tired and always in very bad pain Milton (all this is hear-say), who just wanted to be left alone. Chemotherapy did him no good and that's when the doctors asked us to rely on prayers. He suffered horrendously with gut pain and was getting pain killer injections every 5 hours. What an existence! The Lord was kind to relieve him of it.
If any of you guys made it to his funeral, you probably attended the funeral of a saint.
He is in heaven and must have got a tremendous welcome in heaven who followed the teaching of His Master to the letter!
A few lines on Milton with whom I lived and worked in New Delhi, the heady, pioneering years in The Gambia and later, in mid-life maturity, in Zambia.
Milton was an average man in many ways; not too tall, not too short, not too brainy, not too foolish, who would comfortably (and for most times willingly) fit in with the crowd. But in the things that really count he was extraordinary, standing head and shoulders above ordinary.
A man described as ‘solid as a rock,’ dependable and dedicated. This has been borne out by the appreciation and demand he was in by bishops, principals, teachers and staff, his students, novices and fellow brothers, and the several close friendships he generously nurtured over the years and across the miles. And in his last years, the leadership and clients of St Anselm’s, Kent.
A person who worked in the background with a fine sense of attention to service, and thoughtful sensitivity to other’s needs. This was the experience of his religious brothers and the various groups he joined or mentored in schools and parishes that embarked on various projects of practical outreach. These took him beyond his Mathematics and Science lessons to work with youth and young adults in Edmund Rice inspired groups and skills-training centres.
A quiet (not silent) man who got on with what was to be done, whose bed rock was faith, prayer and spirituality. These Milton practiced with his usual dedication and sincerity in a practical, no nonsense, low-key approach to life. In the nineteen eighties I saw his dedication to his students go beyond the school time-table to innovative, weekly gatherings outside school that helped them process the turmoil of teenage years and feed their eager souls. These entirely voluntary meetings were sacred spaces well attended. This I saw echoed in the courses in Community Building that he developed and led for novices and others in Africa.
A man in whom there was no guile, no pretence. A man of simple tastes and life-style. Among the simple pleasures I recall the Sunday brunches on the veranda in Lusaka where he was Director of our International Spirituality Centre and the episodes of Strictly Come Dancing or some British comedy that became a community exercise.
He loved order, with a place for everything and everything in its place, and spent time organizing folders, drawing up procedures, colour-coded and demarcated, so everyone was in the know where things stood.
Like us all, he wasn’t without his faults, but unlike so many of us they never became a stumbling block to his goodness. Milton loved too much, often reflected in the intensity of his commitment to projects or people. He often paid the price dearly when they disappointed but he always picked himself up. His biggest heart-break was perhaps the closing of the CB mission in The Gambia where he had been teacher, principal, served in CB leadership and church leadership at parish and Diocesan level most memorably in the Catholic education secretariat. He carried the Gambian people in his heart always. (Today, we have one Gambia Brother in leadership in West Africa, two Gambian novices in Zambia and two others who are to be Finally Professed in December 2018. All who would have known Milton in one capacity or other. Not bad for a country we ‘left’ over 10 years ago!) But here too he picked himself up and with renewed dedication, he gave himself generously to new and difficult missions in Zambia and later Ghana (as Novice Master) before discovering his personal vocation to the healing EQ (Emotional Quotient) which he studied and practiced with whole-hearted dedication and sincerity.
It is not fair the sufferings, challenges, despair and difficulties he went through with his illness of a stubborn, unresponsive cancer – the very opposite of who Milton was as a person. But we are told that that is how God treats his friends. For surely Milton was a friend of God who engaged in doing the ordinary things of life extraordinarily well. As a brother said, in Milton God walked among us and we never knew. His courageous decision to stop debilitating chemotherapy and face his illness full on was typical of the practical, down to earth, no fuss, faith-based attitude to life.
Milton, friend, companion, brother. Thank you. Enjoy well the embrace of the Mystery we call God as we confidently stand, supported, upon your shoulders.
Laugh Milton, laugh - I miss your laughter.
It was a privilege to have experienced Milton. I was senior to him during our formation years in Shillong, he being in the Novitiate while I was teaching at St Edmund's High School. Milton would always greet me “Pate Stembur” ( Bhan Singh our PT master in 1971-72 gave me this name). “Patiala returned?” The allusion would be to hockey. Then he would burst out in laughter! In fact it was his laughter that was most remarkable. His face would light up and he would convulse – his whole body shaking with joy. In fact even at Mass while I would perform my 'comedy of errors' while serving – I would see Milton out of the corner of my eyes – holding his stomach – rolling in muffled laughter. He must have thought I was the congregational clown. But the laughter was pure - just joy.
Although junior to me, Milton was years ahead in wisdom and maturity. A good sportsman, reliable in soccer and hockey, untouchable in basketball. His outward manifestation in life - serene - calm under pressure, understating the frailties of human beings. A model monk.
It was a privilege to have made him laugh.